So, was talking to Joe earlier, and I made an ugly realization about myself. I’ve spent the last decade and change getting to talk to people I idolize, respect and look up to. People in the comic industry, and after a while, it seems like everyone else comes in and discovers them, and I’m quietly pushed to the side. I used to talk to Geoff Johns on MySpace, hell, I used to talk to Eric Canete on the phone… now there’s the influx on people like Thomas and James. It makes me happy that they’ve become successes, and that people love them, but I just feel left behind.

I know it’s my fault. I’m terrified to put myself out there, so I hide in my cave.

I love you all. You’ll always be my friends and idols.

Laying in bed, can’t sleep cus of my sinuses, coughing up a lung, reading sappy yuri manga. I have such a life

Drunk Lexi Vent! (Okay, only mildly buzzed at best…) Over the past month, I’ve had many friends come to me and tell me that they have female friends who either have crushes on me, or idolize my art, or want to chat me up, or whatever. Only a couple have actually talked to me and it was “Hi” “…OMG…hi…*ninja vanish!*”

I’ve had friends and exes have claimed I’m intimidating. It kind of upsets me. I guess people take my shyness as some kind of deep brooding or something. I know I’m a giant amazon, but… yeah, not inside. I’m just quiet. I’m sorry if that and my stature make me seem intimidating. I don’t mean to seem stand-offish. I guess everyone expects me to be the great lesbian knight, but I can’t.

I hate being me sometimes. I hate this tower I seem to be trapped in. I just want to be the one who gets rescued.